Oceans

I see in slow motion
Valleys of darkness in front of my eyes
The color from the world has turned gray
No longer vibrant
Vast shades of greens and blue, no longer
I hear words in murmurs
I see others have excitement and I feel a void
An emptiness like that black plague sweeping over my body
Prepared to drown me in a sea of tidal waves

When did this happen?
How did this happen?

I am a shell of my former self
A zombie with a smile
I look the same
I still laugh
I lie in bed and see myself 
Laying there
Screaming on the inside

I look at you
Pleading with my eyes for help
Please stop
Give me what I need
Don’t you love me?

I'm sorry
I don’t give you what you need
Meet up to your expectations
You break me down
Build me up
Over and over
I can't breathe

You are my ocean
I swim inside of you everyday
Never breaking the surface
I can't quite reach the shore
It's just beyond my grasp
Just like happiness

Please stop
Give me what I need
Don’t you love me?

I love you
You are my ocean
I swim under water
I see in slow motion