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Own the Fall.

the Periodic Writer

Why do you teeter between weakness and strength?
Your worth is not defined by another’s grace.

The view on the way could feature a dream state,
but the wake of the wind reveals risk of day.

Never wait for the cliffs to decide your fate.
If you choose to fall, find your wings on the way.

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H

There is no white light

sold my soul to the devil
thought i would have a chance
played with fire
it burned by hands

everything i touch
turns into flame
heart
permanent crutch
life
always the same

it was a deal
i couldn’t resist
i thought i was buying
true happiness

heart and mind
nonstop war
day in, day out
i’ve been cursed
once more

the demons are calling
they want me to come back
my heart is in a cage
my soul
turned to black

i gave it away
to alleviate pain
the voices
angry
screaming all at once

should have listened to them
voices inside and out
don’t mess with the devil
not a good route

the devil, he laughed
shook his head, smiled
“don’t look back”
grabbed me by the hand
lead me through the tunnel
dark and black

there is no white light
can no longer see
friends voices are gone
H
the devil
took my life from me

Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Wear

So this is my first stab at a beauty review. I have always loved makeup and all that it entails; applying to myself and others, buying, researching and learning about products. I am not a guru by any means but my collection would tell you otherwise. If collecting makeup was a sport, I would be in the Olympics (not the Summer Olympics, straight up Winter.) I love to try to new looks and sometimes that ends fabulous and sometimes I end up looking like a 5 year old who got into their Mom’s makeup. I just embrace the challenge that comes along.

I have a very difficult time finding foundation that matches my skin tone because I am so fair. My skin looks like it has pink undertones but when foundation is applied it makes my skin look yellow. When I explain this to consultants at Sephora or Ulta they never believe me and always have to test it out for themselves. What do I always end up buying? Not the neutral. Not the yellow undertones. You guessed it, foundation for pink undertones. Anyhow, I like to mix up what I wear for different occasions so I usually have quite a few different foundations on hand at any given time.

I just picked up Lancôme’s Teint Idole Ultra Wear. Let me tell you something, I had high hopes for this foundation because I really enjoyed what I was previously using. My goal when buying Lancôme’s Teint Idole Ultra Wear was to have something for my light days for work. I take the VRE to work and have about a half mile walk everyday once I get off the train. If you don’t know, VA summers are like living in Satan’s Balls. It’s miserable, I feel like I melt every time I walk outside so I needed something that would last me all day and throughout the heat. I also sweat like a madman. I wanted a versatile foundation as well, something with build-able coverage for the days I want to have a stronger look. This foundation succeeded for the most part and it also has SPF 15 built into the coverage.

Previously for my light days I was used Urban Decay’s Naked Skin, which I was a fan of but I just wanted a changed and I like this so much more. The coverage can go from very light to medium build. I apply this foundation with a beauty blender sprayed with Urban Decay’s All Nighter Spray for a longer lasting and smoother finish. I have not yet tried applying with a brush or an oval brush yet. However, given how smooth the texture is I think it would apply just fine with any type of application.

I apply this foundation on top of a primer, depending on which one I feel like using that day. Today was the first day I really put it to the test against VA’s heat. It was 97 degrees and humid as hell. My hair look straight up like Curly Sue, but frizzy. I got home at the end of the day to take a look and much to my surprise it looked very similar to when I put it on in the morning! I was rather impressed.

The downfalls that I have found to this foundation thus far is that it gathers around my nose right by my nostrils and almost makes the corners look slightly oily (I do not normally have oily skin.) I have found that I can combat this with baking or loose powder on top. I have not tried using this foundation without a primer or a setting spray so I am not sure how it would hold up without those two products as well. When I got home from my day at work my face looked like I had been sweating all day but the makeup was still intact. The foundation was not clumpy, runny or any other makeup catastrophe you and I can think of. For how hot and humid it was I would say that it withstood that heat rather well.

The packaging of this foundation is also convenient. I has a nice bottle that allows you to see the color, a black pump top and a black cap; the bottle is square in shape.

I purchased this foundation from Ulta for $47.00, in my opinion it is slightly over priced for the length of the wear. I prefer buying my makeup at Ulta because I like their rewards system much better than Sephora. So, if Ulta has the product, I buy it there. I will gladly purchase this foundation again. I would give  Lancôme’s Teint Idole Ultra Wear 7/10.

 

Back to Us

Your heart is where I live

I know you see me

What’s going on inside

The feelings of my heart

The thoughts of my mind

You wrap me up tight

Give me all I need

I have hope for the future

You and me

That’s all I need

Things have been rocky

Some might say, rather tough

But I know what we are made of

I won’t give up

We are on our path

Back from where we came

We’ve had quite the journey

But I still feel the same

I need your arms around me

Embrace me in your love

They say a home is where you live

They must not know love

My home is a person

Made of flesh and bones

The markings on your body

Is a map that leads me home

Your heart is where I live

You

Have my soul

I want this forever

Just you and me

This life is for always

Now I can finally see

Years

You taught me about fire


Near the sunset

Not far from the rain

The longing in my heart

Makes me go insane


I travel my mind

Like a map of the sea

Wondering where I will find

You and me


 Stumbling along the beaten path

I came across you

My soul, torn in half

You picked me up

Put me back together

Two became one

I thought this was happily forever


Days turned into weeks

Weeks into months

Those months suddenly became years

What once was, now is dust


 My soul feels shaky

Tired

But, I don’t want to quit

I know that we are somewhere

This isn’t our love


You taught me about fire

Passion

How to sore

I swear I could fly

But suddenly we are drowning

Always calling a score


Seconds turn into hours

Yesterday’s words ringing in our ears

Passion is just a fruit

What happened over the years?


 I want us back

You know, the old you and me

People who used to laugh and play

That’s how we should be


 Maybe we are fire and oil

Sometimes love isn’t enough

I know that we are somewhere

This isn’t how our love is


I won’t give up trying

I’ll give all of my breaths

You’ll see me leave how you found me

A broken soul in two

If there is an end it won’t be pretty

My soul belongs to you


Oceans

I see in slow motion

I see in slow motion
Valleys of darkness in front of my eyes
The color from the world has turned gray
No longer vibrant
Vast shades of greens and blue, no longer
I hear words in murmurs
I see others have excitement and I feel a void
An emptiness like that black plague sweeping over my body
Prepared to drown me in a sea of tidal waves

When did this happen?
How did this happen?

I am a shell of my former self
A zombie with a smile
I look the same
I still laugh
I lie in bed and see myself 
Laying there
Screaming on the inside

I look at you
Pleading with my eyes for help
Please stop
Give me what I need
Don’t you love me?

I'm sorry
I don’t give you what you need
Meet up to your expectations
You break me down
Build me up
Over and over
I can't breathe

You are my ocean
I swim inside of you everyday
Never breaking the surface
I can't quite reach the shore
It's just beyond my grasp
Just like happiness

Please stop
Give me what I need
Don’t you love me?

I love you
You are my ocean
I swim under water
I see in slow motion

 

Tomorrow

Let’s discuss this tomorrow

Let’s discuss this tomorrow

You said

Anxiety

My chest

Ringing

My ears

Week

Never ends

Car

Won’t start

Phone

Won’t ring

Flowers

Never bloom

Frigid

Winter frost

Brown grass

Sharp blades

Thoughts

Can’t escape

Let’s discuss this tomorrow

You said

Tomorrow never came

Tomorrow is the wind that whistles though the trees

I think it may be you

Tomorrow is looking across the street

Wondering if I’ll see your face

Tomorrow is the ping on my phone

Wondering if it’s you

Tomorrow is bad dream

I can’t escape

Tomorrow is fear

Never knowing

Tomorrow is stagnant

What ifs

Tomorrow is rethinking

Everything I’ve done

Tomorrow is questioning

Who am I?

Tomorrow is lost

Illusions of my mind

Let’s discuss this tomorrow

You said

Tomorrow is here

Gone