Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day


I repeat it three times before I open my eyes


Started with lies


The pain consumes my soul

What’s left of who I was

The callers come every day, asking for different pieces

Each caller takes a little part of me

Nothing given in return


Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day


I yell these words over and over in my head

Willing them to be true


I beg the callers

“Please, do not come

I need my soul

This body can’t handle

What you have done.”

The callers never listen

Coming for what is due


Piece by piece

Part by part

The callers take their bit

I am a broken body

My soul, not much is left


The smallest of tasks are hard to fulfill

{Tying my shoes}

{Putting on my shirt}

I took these simplicities for granted

When I was not ill




Head to feet

I want the old me back

The one the world still sees

That person is gone forever

This is the new me


Today I didn’t have a good day.




The ones that trail off your lips.

Her Smile.

Her Hair.

Are you ever insecure, of the past?One that you’ve never seen? 

Could it bite you in the ass? 

The thoughts in the night. 

The ones of. 
The ones that trail off your lips. 

          Her Smile. 

          Her Hair.

It makes me think. 

Is that what you want¿
Should I aspire to be more. 

To allude to she¿

She had that essence. 

You know, the one that everyone aspires to have,

It says, says oh, look at me.
She doesn’t try hard, or does she? Appearances, who know, they confuse me.

My heart says you love me. But it also says.

There was one that, got away.
The one with, the dark hair, she floated, her daughter pulled you astray.
She had that, je ne sais quoi.

You know, that pull you in, beauty.

Physique that, pulls you in. 
Do you love me? I know you do. 

The question is…

Do I love me, do I think of you? 

Do I think of you? 

Do I think of you, with the girl.
With the girl that didn’t have it all. 

The one you wanted to save.

You didn’t want to let, let the daughter fall.
Can you forget that piece, the piece of your heart?

These broken pieces, these are. 

The others ones, they makes me.
Have comfort.

I need comfort but not forever.

This love is great. 

But it’s not clever. 

I need a love that pulls my strings. 

But this love I have. 

All it does, is please.

Living in Fantasyland

Open your fucking eyes

Story-time, every evening in this glim reality

Or is it fantasyland that I see

My head hits the pillow and it feels like I crashed into a thousand needles

I desperately try to fight this world I live in

Escape my own brain


How can something so nonexistent cause so much turmoil

Tossing and turning throughout the night afraid to shut my lids

I fear the dreams about to come

For it will never be lived


Close my eyes

Are you there?

Can you feel me?

My heart reaching for yours

I’m afraid to say your name

For fear of wanting more


You invade my mind

Shooting, a rocket into space

The thoughts, they dance

Like a child in the rain

Vivid imagines of what could have been

I think I’ve gone insane


I Close my eyes just to ask

Are you there?

Can you feel me?

My heart plays a trick, I can see you so clear

I see blue eyes, blonde hair

But this, it’s what I fear


Your skin so warm next to me

Entangled in the mess of sheets

A simple touch sends electricity bolts

Is this passion or fear


Hands engulfed in a sea of hair

Pulling you in closer

Breathing you in

I don’t want to let go

I think you are my oxygen after I inhaled CO


Wait, stop

This is just a dream

Snap out of it I say

It’s going to cause a scene

Get on with your life

These pictures are not real

That time has come and gone


Go back to reality

Open your fucking eyes

Why can’t you see

You already have blue skies

The sun is shining, that’s what someone said

You have everything you need


But I don’t I scream

With the voice inside my head

If my needs were met

An invisible man wouldn’t be in my bed


There is no white light

sold my soul to the devil
thought i would have a chance
played with fire
it burned by hands

everything i touch
turns into flame
permanent crutch
always the same

it was a deal
i couldn’t resist
i thought i was buying
true happiness

heart and mind
nonstop war
day in, day out
i’ve been cursed
once more

the demons are calling
they want me to come back
my heart is in a cage
my soul
turned to black

i gave it away
to alleviate pain
the voices
screaming all at once

should have listened to them
voices inside and out
don’t mess with the devil
not a good route

the devil, he laughed
shook his head, smiled
“don’t look back”
grabbed me by the hand
lead me through the tunnel
dark and black

there is no white light
can no longer see
friends voices are gone
the devil
took my life from me


You taught me about fire

Near the sunset

Not far from the rain

The longing in my heart

Makes me go insane

I travel my mind

Like a map of the sea

Wondering where I will find

You and me

 Stumbling along the beaten path

I came across you

My soul, torn in half

You picked me up

Put me back together

Two became one

I thought this was happily forever

Days turned into weeks

Weeks into months

Those months suddenly became years

What once was, now is dust

 My soul feels shaky


But, I don’t want to quit

I know that we are somewhere

This isn’t our love

You taught me about fire


How to sore

I swear I could fly

But suddenly we are drowning

Always calling a score

Seconds turn into hours

Yesterday’s words ringing in our ears

Passion is just a fruit

What happened over the years?

 I want us back

You know, the old you and me

People who used to laugh and play

That’s how we should be

 Maybe we are fire and oil

Sometimes love isn’t enough

I know that we are somewhere

This isn’t how our love is

I won’t give up trying

I’ll give all of my breaths

You’ll see me leave how you found me

A broken soul in two

If there is an end it won’t be pretty

My soul belongs to you