Callers

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

 

I repeat it three times before I open my eyes

Everyday

Started with lies

 

The pain consumes my soul

What’s left of who I was

The callers come every day, asking for different pieces

Each caller takes a little part of me

Nothing given in return

 

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

Today I’m going to have a good day

 

I yell these words over and over in my head

Willing them to be true

 

I beg the callers

“Please, do not come

I need my soul

This body can’t handle

What you have done.”

The callers never listen

Coming for what is due

 

Piece by piece

Part by part

The callers take their bit

I am a broken body

My soul, not much is left

 

The smallest of tasks are hard to fulfill

{Tying my shoes}

{Putting on my shirt}

I took these simplicities for granted

When I was not ill

 

Fatigue

Torment

Head to feet

I want the old me back

The one the world still sees

That person is gone forever

This is the new me

 

Today I didn’t have a good day.